How Do You Save A Marriage?

August 10th, 2009

I failed. Drove out both stepsons, leading to resentment from my wife. Daughter disrespects us both at 11, only going to get worse.
Is it best I cut my losses and move out?

It is only through recognising our shortcomings can we improve. Stick around and make a differnece to that 11 year old. Your wife will go from sole mate to flat mate and back again half a dozen times between now and when one of you falls off the perch. Try to remember what made you fall in love with her the first time around.

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12 Responses to “How Do You Save A Marriage?”

  1. Julie H Says:

    It doesn’t sound to me as if you want to save the marriage. It’s probably best to divorce and let her find another husband that will love her. It doesn’t sound like “love” has anything to do with your feelings. It’s all about you.
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  2. technosized Says:

    Ask your wife what it would take for the both of you to get on the right path, then stick to it.
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  3. Jennie Says:

    Watch Fireproof
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  4. Spanky Gazpacho DW Says:

    It is only through recognising our shortcomings can we improve. Stick around and make a differnece to that 11 year old. Your wife will go from sole mate to flat mate and back again half a dozen times between now and when one of you falls off the perch. Try to remember what made you fall in love with her the first time around.
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  5. jude Says:

    only a coward and a quitter runs away.get some christian counseling and find out where u went wrong and find out how to fix it.it won’t get worse if u can work on it.
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  6. CamM Says:

    Don’t sweat the little things. Sons and fathers often have problems, but you need to choose your battles.

    Respect is earned, it isn’t a right. Your dtr disrespects you because you haven’t earned it YET – there is still time.

    Move out if you are a quitter. If not, stay and fix things up.

    Apologise to your wife.

    Swallow your pride and be nice to the stepsons.

    Show your dtr love and discipline.

    Show you wife that you love her, if you do. If you have trouble showing her, try http://www.bringbackthespark.com for new ideas – it’s a great system and is way more fun and much cheaper than divorce! Good luck.

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  7. for7949 Says:

    You need to talk to your wife and ask her if you both failed. Your stepsons were going to go anyway because of the relationship you have with their mother. The 11 year old needs some alone time with a belt because that’s way too young to have an attitude. As for your wife, she shouldn’t resent you for doing what you think is your job. Talk to her and lay out a plan then stick to it. You both need counseling and then work on improving your overall relationship and well being.
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  8. Zara Says:

    omg!! please dont leve your going to leve your family behind just cuz you cant handle little problomes liek this ?
    what happens if you face bigger oenc are you goign to kill your self?

    isnt this what a fmailys about

    KEEPING IT 2GETHER AND TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK
    NO MATTER
    WHAT

    omg !!

    II WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING
    get your head stirght trust me

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  9. illinoismommy Says:

    You don’t just “give up” on your wife, you set the tone for your children’s lives. As a child coming from a divorce at age 5, Ii can tell you it affects me to this very day at age 24. So just imagine what goes through a much more mature 11 year old. It’s a shame you’re going to ruin her life too. And just a side note, but my parents are great friends to this day and the divorce was anything but bitter…very peaceful…for them.
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  10. Rebecca B Says:

    I wish my husband now would read this. He is always picking on my son, (from another marriage) and yes, it causes resentment. Mothers will most often pick their own child if you force them into that situation. Its so tense right now here that I totally dread tomorrows thanksgiving. All you can do is be sincere in talking to her. Tell her you see things differently now, and if she will give you a chance you will SHOW her you have changed. words mean nothing. Its actions that are the way to redeem yourself. Good Luck!
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    living it

  11. Jackie Says:

    Go to couceling individual, coupel and family. It will take a lot of work but you can save this if you want to.
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  12. ann Says:

    clear communication that includes being expressive.
    just talk it out.
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