What can I expect when I begin Marriage counseling?
May 3rd, 2008
I am going to begin marriage counseling in a few days. I have no idea what I'm getting into with this. Will any of you who have been through it tell me what to expect? Is there any trickery I need to watch out for?
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I think all those other answers are bogus.
My husband and I started counseling before we were married, and we now continue it after getting married, to help us prepare.
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Our counselor asked things about both sides of the family, who supported our marriage, who didn't, plans about children, and the future. We also took a test to find out what each other thought about various things in our lives. He taught us about reflective listening. As far as trickery – not at all if you get a good counselor. You can always request another counselor if you don't feel the one you have is being fair.
It's really simple and we always left feeling better and secure.
I hope this helps!
December 3rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I f you're a guy and the counselor is female, get ready for a divorce. Sorry, but you asked and that is based on my experience.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 5:45 pm
The only tricks are the ones who are played by couples, trying to avoid accountability for their own actions…..
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December 3rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
THERE I GOING TO BE A LOT OF ARGUING AN BECAREFUL WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE YOUR SPOUSE WILL TROW AT YOU WHAT YOU SAID IN THERE
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December 3rd, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I did not like it all it was, was a bunch of he say she say bull shit..Don't waste your time or money..
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December 3rd, 2008 at 6:59 pm
WOW, a question with so many levels. Well, there are 2 types of couples whom seek counselling. One being the couple who is officially deciding to get divorced. Almost like they need the persmission or something. The second is the one who are deciding to stay together. I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is which couple you are. Then, go in with an opened heart and mind. Sometimes it can feel like a "pick on you session" that particular week. Sometimes it will be your spouse. If you are wearing thin……….cause its a pick on you week…….(meaning your issues) tell them, (your spouse and counselor). Be polite and respectful, but honest. You can say, that you are alittle weary, could we talk about some issues that I have as well??
To be perfectly honest, I have to tell you, it sounds like you have one foot out the door to begin with. When you asked about the trickery, it sounds like you are already into the head playing games that so many couples get into when things are really bad. If you want your marriage to work, you need to let go of all your doubt and give it all your have. Otherwise, your spouse will sense the same doubt that I sensed just across a computer screen. I hope this helped alittle.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 7:46 pm
IF the counselor is ALL for the wife's side, and puts ALL the eggs in the husband's basket, FIND ANOTHER COUNSELOR! That is the MOST destructive tool they use, and it's a common one (sadly)…
Luckily I was able to find a good counselor who saw through my crap, called me to the mat, and demanded I work on MY stuff…
Make sure the counselor holds you individually accountable to work on your own issues. You work on you, your spouse works on themself…
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December 3rd, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I think all those other answers are bogus.
My husband and I started counseling before we were married, and we now continue it after getting married, to help us prepare.
Our counselor asked things about both sides of the family, who supported our marriage, who didn't, plans about children, and the future. We also took a test to find out what each other thought about various things in our lives. He taught us about reflective listening. As far as trickery – not at all if you get a good counselor. You can always request another counselor if you don't feel the one you have is being fair.
It's really simple and we always left feeling better and secure.
I hope this helps!
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December 3rd, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Dunno.
My counselor has really helped me with a lot of self-esteem issues I've had.
But is not really taking my abusive wife to-task. I'm not really sure my wife will ever listen to anybody. One has to understand that one has a problem, accept that as fact, and want to change, in order for any change to occur. If you are completely compliant, and your spouse, inscrutable, then you're screwed.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Is it pre-marital counseling?
Or
marriage problems therefore, marriage counseling?
They both offer some really good things.
But remember to be totally honest, be tactfull, listen,
and even though you might not like the words coming out from anyones mouth, yours, your spouse, or the counselor,
RESPECT IT…. and listen to it.
Don't argue, don't fight,
this is a place to hopefully get you two comfortable talking about your problems with yourself, with eachother and communicating honestly, and learning how to communicate with eachother to help get over this hump in your relationship.
UNLESS this is a judgement for child custody,
Then keep your mouth shut, and just listen a lot.
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