we’ve been together for ~6years. At first all was good. Then things turned ugly when he started cheating. We split many times, I went through deep depressions. He would beg to come back and we did, each time. He was the perfect man in every sense except I didnt trust him and would think of other women with him. This started affecting me sexually through time where I could not focus. About 1 year ago he made a drastic change in which he decided to be non-cheating, homebody husband. The problem is that now, my sexual evolution has gotten worse to the point where I dread having sex with him. I dont think about the other women anymore. I am just NOT excited by him anymore, though I find him physically attractive. I’ve tried a romantic getaway, and new ways but still hard for me to get into the moment. I cannot enjoy myself with him – get aroused.
Is this reason enough to leave my marriage or am I being unrealistic?
I think if he has really changed, then you need to find a way to heal what was damaged by his actions. I suggest for you to go to counseling on your own, without him present and see if you can’t work through the issues his actions caused. Until you fully forgive him and open yourself up to him again, you may not be able to be sexually satisfied by him. Sexual satisifaction requires you to be open and it is hard to be open with someone who has betrayed you as much as your husband has. Sex is an important part of a marriage relationship and it begins to degrade the relationship when the intimacy is gone. Not to mention it makes you vulnerable to seeking satisfaction else where. You don’t want to do the same thing he did to you, to him. I hope that helps a little. Hang in there girl, you have gotten this far, you can get through the rest of it 