Marriage Counseling? How to ask your spouse?
May 3rd, 2009
My husband and I recently separated …he said he is not in love with me anymore and doesn’t want to be married at all. I am in love with him we have two children one is only 5 weeks old! I have asked about marriage counseling when the problems first started and he said no but I feel like this is really my last chance …What should I do?
Ask him again! But in the meantime also ask him what he feels is wrong in your marriage. The idea that “love” or “not being in love” is the criteria that keeps a marriage going, is absurd. Getting along with each other has to do with talking things out. You are two different people, coming from two different worlds with different ideas of what brings about happiness.
If you can ask him about what bothers him and, at the same time explain what you want to get out of the marriage, you will have gone a long way towards saving your marriage.
Yes, I did plenty of marriage counseling in my life. But counseling is worthless unless both partners are willing. Check out my source. download Waiting…
January 4th, 2009 at 4:14 am
if he isn’t willing to work it out with you, I think you should start preparing yourself for the inevitable. It’s so much better for him to go, than for him to stay because you begged him to. He will never be loving toward you, just bitter…and the kids will pick up on that. You don’t want them growing up seeing marriage as a prison sentence. I’m sorry this happened.
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January 4th, 2009 at 5:03 am
It depends if he is willing to try and make it work, and it sounds like he doesn’t. Don’t set yourself up for despair! If he doesn’t want to try you shouldn’t try to force it, it’ll only push him away. But it sounds like you really want to keep him, just let him know that after he’s though about it the option is still open, but you can’t wait forever! The time comes when you need someone who loves you as much as you love them!
Be strong my sister!
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January 4th, 2009 at 5:32 am
Tell him that next Friday you will either be in marriage counseling with him, or alone at the court house filing for spousal and child support payments, and that the choice is up to him.
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January 4th, 2009 at 6:01 am
Ask him again! But in the meantime also ask him what he feels is wrong in your marriage. The idea that “love” or “not being in love” is the criteria that keeps a marriage going, is absurd. Getting along with each other has to do with talking things out. You are two different people, coming from two different worlds with different ideas of what brings about happiness.
If you can ask him about what bothers him and, at the same time explain what you want to get out of the marriage, you will have gone a long way towards saving your marriage.
Yes, I did plenty of marriage counseling in my life. But counseling is worthless unless both partners are willing. Check out my source.
References :
http://www.compatiblelives.com/
January 4th, 2009 at 6:12 am
Ask him if the two of you can get together, with out the kids. Sit down and say, honey I know things have been hard and we have made this decision to separate but I think we are quitting on something really special and I think we need to exhaust all our options before breaking up a beautiful family. Say, they make doctors for everything now days and we should go to the marriage doctor. Tell him divorce is the wrong way and our children deserve to be raised with the two of us. Tell him you are willing to do whatever it takes, and sometimes it takes one person in the marriage to do a ton more work than the other and that’s ok if it means the marriage can survive. There is too much divorce in this world and not enough fighters. Tell him you both owe this counseling to your family and he does not get to just fall out of love and leave. that is not what marriage is about. You fall in and out of love several times through out a marriage but you stick it out. There are times in a marriage where you feel like you cannot possibly live with this person any longer and that is when you fight twice as hard. Your marriage can work but you need to be gentle and patient with your husband but don’t just give in and say ok lets get divorces. Tell him I am sorry you feel this way but I am not just going to sit back and grant you a divorce with out doing everything in our power. He was there when you started your family and made the decision and he does not get to walk away
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