But after an affair? Did you think that w/o the counseling, the marriage would for sure ended, did it end even with counseling? Did you work it out on your own, or just walk away? Just trying to get ideas of how others either saved their marriage or if they left it and try to figure out whats best for me and maybe someone will throw an idea out that there will get my own wheels spinning. Oh, and I am not saying who the cheater is, him or me, because thats when all the judgemental answers start coming…if only people could answer the question being asked and save the judgement.
I was married to my 1st husband who cheated, and we had 3 kids so I really wanted it to work. After a 9 month break up we reconciled. We went to counseling which helped me because it made me realize that I would never be happy in that relationship. I also recognized that I was not being a good example to my kids. I wanted them to see that they shouldn't "settle" if they're miserable. They're adults now and they've always said the divorce was a good thing for everyone, including their father.
I've also gone to counseling in my 2nd marriage, due to stepkid problems. That was a tremendous help and probably saved my marriage.
Good luck to you.