How many marriages credit marriage counseling to saving their marriage?
January 13th, 2008
But after an affair? Did you think that w/o the counseling, the marriage would for sure ended, did it end even with counseling? Did you work it out on your own, or just walk away? Just trying to get ideas of how others either saved their marriage or if they left it and try to figure out whats best for me and maybe someone will throw an idea out that there will get my own wheels spinning. Oh, and I am not saying who the cheater is, him or me, because thats when all the judgemental answers start coming…if only people could answer the question being asked and save the judgement.
I was married to my 1st husband who cheated, and we had 3 kids so I really wanted it to work. After a 9 month break up we reconciled. We went to counseling which helped me because it made me realize that I would never be happy in that relationship. I also recognized that I was not being a good example to my kids. I wanted them to see that they shouldn't "settle" if they're miserable. They're adults now and they've always said the divorce was a good thing for everyone, including their father.
I've also gone to counseling in my 2nd marriage, due to stepkid problems. That was a tremendous help and probably saved my marriage.
Good luck to you.
traverse city breast enhancement
December 14th, 2008 at 12:33 am
I have been to a counselor a couple of times and it was an utter waste. We worked out our problems, no thanks to the counselor.
References :
December 14th, 2008 at 1:21 am
I was married to my 1st husband who cheated, and we had 3 kids so I really wanted it to work. After a 9 month break up we reconciled. We went to counseling which helped me because it made me realize that I would never be happy in that relationship. I also recognized that I was not being a good example to my kids. I wanted them to see that they shouldn't "settle" if they're miserable. They're adults now and they've always said the divorce was a good thing for everyone, including their father.
I've also gone to counseling in my 2nd marriage, due to stepkid problems. That was a tremendous help and probably saved my marriage.
Good luck to you.
References :
December 14th, 2008 at 1:46 am
I left my cheating spouse on my own. I didn't need anyone to help me make that decision and he lost his damn mind if he thought I was gonna put up with his cheating ass. He found out different.
References :
December 14th, 2008 at 2:08 am
I'm not going to give you some positive feedback here. My experiences with counselors were rather unsettling. My wife wanted a divorce. She said she wanted our marriage fixed but the end of the relationship and the factors involved, proved a different agenda. So, in a nutshell. 1st counselor was a new pastor fresh out of Bible college. We dealt with my shortcomings and it was a positive thing for me. I learned allot about my role in the marriage, however, as soon as he turned his eyes on my ex she fired him and we stumbled through marriage awhile. 2nd counselor was psychology major graduate. He let us vent for a session and started immediately focusing on my wife. She freaked and again we stumble around in the dark. 3rd and final counselor was a seasoned professional, wise and very alert. She had a sense of wisdom that was very comforting. My ex started in again at all of my short comings, and at the end, the counselor told her the she had unrealistic expectations of me. Adios muchachas! She bolted without another word.
In summary, I just want to say if both do not want the marriage to work, it's doomed. The last counselor looked at me after she left and said something she had never said before. She said "If I were you, I'd escape from this person, she's got an agenda that only she knows, RUN!"
References :