how can i convince my wife to go to marriage counseling?
she has plenty of excuses why we shouldnt go and i cannot convince her otherwise; she doent like to spread her buisness, she thinks everything will be the same afterwards, she thinks she will be blamed, etc, etc…
we need this. there doesnt seem to be any other option at this point. i know we can save our marriage but why wont she go? should i go alone? we're running out of time. please help (we have a baby daughter also)
I'm trying to look at this from your wife's perspective. Being a woman, I find it odd that a man is the one opting to go and the woman is not. Regardless, there is no need to be at oppostions with each other. And from what I gather, it appears that your wife knows she probably is to blame for the majority of whatever it is that has made things get to this point. Women are stubborn, more so than men at times. We don't like to be told we are wrong when it comes to relationships. So here's what I suggest:
Give her the "honey, we need to talk" speech. Then calmly sit her down and tell her what is bothering you. Tell her that you know it takes two to reach the point that the two of you are at and that you love her dearly and want to make things better. Tell her that you believe in your heart of hearts that you guys can make this work and if someone has some suggestions or can give you the tools you need to get you started, you'd really like to try because it's obvious what you are doing, is not working now. Tell her she can pick the counselor…tell her that if she doesn't like it, you guys can stop, but rather than insist….ask her honey. Turn it around and make it appear that it was her suggestion. If anything…this is going to open some lines of communication between the two of you. For one, she's going to realize that you really care about her and keeping your family together, and two she's going to have to come to terms that what you have now, really isn't working. Sometimes, we women, need things pointed out to us too…we are complex, emotional…but just like every other beating heart in the world, we all have one thing in common…to reach that dream of sitting on the front porch in our golden years reminiscing.
I wish you luck honey. there aren't many men out there who care enough to do this. God Bless