Or even free. We don't have alot of money but are in dire need of some marriage counseling.

yup. depends on the counselor.

Is this reason enough to leave my marriage or am I being unrealistic?

I think if he has really changed, then you need to find a way to heal what was damaged by his actions. I suggest for you to go to counseling on your own, without him present and see if you can’t work through the issues his actions caused. Until you fully forgive him and open yourself up to him again, you may not be able to be sexually satisfied by him. Sexual satisifaction requires you to be open and it is hard to be open with someone who has betrayed you as much as your husband has. Sex is an important part of a marriage relationship and it begins to degrade the relationship when the intimacy is gone. Not to mention it makes you vulnerable to seeking satisfaction else where. You don’t want to do the same thing he did to you, to him. I hope that helps a little. Hang in there girl, you have gotten this far, you can get through the rest of it

I don't know about what everyone else things……

but I know… that as long as both people are willing to try to repair the marriage….. that marriage counseling…. can do WONDERS.

Ask him again! But in the meantime also ask him what he feels is wrong in your marriage. The idea that “love” or “not being in love” is the criteria that keeps a marriage going, is absurd. Getting along with each other has to do with talking things out. You are two different people, coming from two different worlds with different ideas of what brings about happiness.

If you can ask him about what bothers him and, at the same time explain what you want to get out of the marriage, you will have gone a long way towards saving your marriage.

Yes, I did plenty of marriage counseling in my life. But counseling is worthless unless both partners are willing. Check out my source.

The place where we go is $100/hr but they also have a sliding scale depending on income. Search around, you should be able to find something reasonable.

He had an affair about 7 months ago and we are both trying so hard to overcome it and get past it. He is remorseful and i havent seen him try this hard since he tried to get me to marry him 10 years ago. I know he loves me and is sorry and is doing everything right to "fix it". But I still think counseling would be helpful. He thinks everything is ok, cuz i dont say anything, i bottle it up to keep things normal, but I really think I need further professional help, but I really want marriage counseling for us both. How do I delicately approach the subject without coming off as demanding it. How do i get him to see that I think it would really be helpful. I still have so many questions surrounding his affair and I am afraid to just ask them. I think a marriage counselor in the middle would be a better alternative, for I have read that in times of healing from an affair, certain things said can be more damaging than helpful and I want guidance to get through it.

Oh and please save your negative comments on once a cheater…bla…bla…Thats not what i asked. So many people are willing to throw in the towel these days and when i read on here telling people to get rid of cheaters, I have to wonder if they ever went through it themselves. Its easier said than done. At least I am trying and if still dont work, at least I can say i tried.

1. convince him that is was his decision to seek counsel.
2. never make it seem like a chore to go to counselling.

3. don't criticize your husband in counselling. only talk about subject matter that is relevant to why you are there.

4. take him to his favourite bar or restaurant after sessions.
5. stress positive results even if you don't think there are any, there will be.

It's the second marriage for both of us and it seems like we keep repeating the same mistakes that ruined our first marriages.

Of course it works, it's work from both sides and needs your commitment. It's a pitty to lose someone you love over some problems. Pick your battle, you'll gain his attention and respect. Give each other space. Try to be happy, and do something new with him; movies, walk in the park on a Sunday, look your best and surprise him with a romantic dinner. My best friend's mother once told me: marriage is like merging 2 stones into being one stone, it takes years for the nature to do that. No marriage is perfect, it's a hard work and communications. Respect each other's individuality and opinions. Don't try to change each other, this won't happen, it'll make you both angry at each other & build more resistance between you. Accept each other the way you are and try to change the way you treat each other. Good Luck and I hope things will work out for you!

He and I are guilty of infidelity. Our children are 15-10-3. Our oldest wants us to try marriage counseling. He has told me he doesnt love me. He still is taking care of the family financially. He is only here because he doesnt want to leave the kids. He doesnt know for sure of my infidelity. He suspects and we fight alot. We are both scared to leave. He has feelings for his other woman, I suspect. He keeps going back to her. What can I do to give either of us the courage to start over. We have been married 18 years and it is scary. I think in some weird way I still love him. I want to do the counseling. His family accepts his girlfriend over me. They invite her to family events. They dont want me around. I must admit I have went through 4 cell phones this month by throwing them at him. I beat him up the night I asked him if he loved me and he told me no. He also told me he has no feelings of passion toward me. We were seperated about 2 years ago and he moved back.

marriage counseling does work if both parties willing to work at the problems and trust me it aint easy but worth it that is if you both really wont it

My husband’s in the 82nd and we’ve been having some marital problems since he got back from Iraq 8 months ago…its to the point now we need counseling or a separation. The Army isn’t exactly a 9 – 5 job and marriage counselors aren’t 24/7, so would my husband’s unit let him have time off to see one?

We just decided tonight on counseling and I'm going to start looking for one tomorrow…I'm just curious how it would work.

Well, if you two really really couldn't find a counselor who could help you around his work schedule (normally once per week), he could certainly ask for an hour off per week. His CO doesn't have to grant it (unless he's suffering from PTSD or similar) but there's no harm in trying.

However, most marriage counselors and therapists are available from 8am to 8pm or later. When I was younger and my parents were going through marriage counseling, my mother worked second shift and my father worked third shift, but they found someone to work with them at 7am on Mondays.

Best of luck.

—EDIT—

Awesome! What a great decision to make, by the way. I'm sure you'll find a good marriage counselor willing to work with your crazy schedules – it may take a bit of digging.

Wish you all the best.

Yes and No. You can stipulate that you tried counseling and it did not work, but since your husband is also a patient it would technically violate Doctor Patient Priviledge. Now even if you were in attendance it would not be available because it has to do with your soon to be exes medical history and is therefore priveleged. You could have him sign a waiver, but I am unsure what the success rate is behind this maneuver. Check with your lawyer though I can be wrong.

I Hope This Helps,

Amy